Friends vs Mommy

📷 Blue Vinyl Photography
Girlfriends--what blessings they are to have. You don't think that the little girls you meet when you are in elementary school or the ones you meet when you are a sorority girl in college will become your best friends but they will. Those relationships will be the ones you value most because they will be the ones who stand by your side the day you marry the man of your dreams and the ones that sit on your porch as grown women while your children play together. 

Most of us can say we have at least one true friend that has been by our side throughout all stages of our lives thus far. Like the emotional beings that we are as females, we day dream of what our future lives will look like, discuss how our husbands and babies will be the best of friends and the weekly dinners we will share just to have an excuse to all be together. Lifelong friends have been there for you through it all. They have seen it all and done it all. Hugged you while you cried over the boy that broke your heart (even though it was middle school and she knew it wasn’t real love anyway), held your hair back after you over indulged in jungle juice at your first college party and then laughed about it all the next day, encouraged you to do your best always, worked the same jobs as you in college just so you could be on the same schedules, were on the other end of the phone cheering when you landed your first “big girl” job, and freaked out almost as much as you did when you realized you had finally met “the one”. These kinds of friends are the real deal, your go-to girls.  These gals are the ones who know more about you than sometimes you know yourself, because they are the ones that love you at your worst and best. They give that tough love that is so necessary for any kind of quality relationship. Y’all have fought together, laughed together, cried together, but always manage to come out of any situation better friends than you were before. While life is changing constantly and you have stuck by each others sides through thick and thin, there is no bigger change than bringing the first baby into the bunch! While of course it is a good change, it is still a HUGE change.

Most of you know my story to motherhood is in no way traditional. It was a shock to us all, and by us all I don’t mean just my family I mean my friends too. When I got pregnant I felt like we all got pregnant—until I had Hutton. When I first found out about Hutton the outpoor of love from my girlfriends was unreal! Such support!! I just knew when I had Hutton nothing was going to change, I would see my friends weekly and those daydreams we had of our future lives would become our reality. Wrong! Having a baby changes everything!! Have I said that already? Those first few weeks after birth are such a whirlwind. Once things began to settle down I realized it wasn’t me and my girlfriends that had a baby it was me and Trey. We were a team of two. At first, I was hurt by this and watched my friends continue on with their lives and dreams, it almost made me jealous in a sense. Then I would look at Hutton and quickly remind myself that God had a different plan for my life. I wanted my friends to call and check in everyday or ask how I was feeling but what I was totally forgetting is that the world didn't stop because I had a baby. They all have their own lives that they were keeping afloat and I couldn't expect for single gals in their 20's to understand what motherhood was like and be present for my every little need. They were doing their best and so was I. As months passed and I grew in motherhood I had a “come to Jesus” as I like to call it moment, I said to myself “WOW, I am SO blessed.” I looked through some old pictures throughout the years and got emotional at how great my friends truly are, I began to understand that though distance and adulthood have gotten in the way of weekly rituals, I have a solid group of girls around me that are there for every moment in my life and a phone call away when I need a venting session. How much more could you ask for?

Motherhood changes you. It changes everything about you and around you. People will obviously show their true colors once they aren’t your number one priority anymore, but once you find that core group of people who stick around don’t push them away because of change. Appreciate the time you get together, cherish it for it is few and far between but just as special and fun as before motherhood! Make new traditions, make time for one another. Most importantly, if you are the first one in the group to have a baby, don’t assume that your friends don’t care or don’t want to help; they just simply don’t understand what you are feeling or what you need. Ask for help, I promise they want to do things for you!

Stick with the friends that love your child just as much as you do, the ones that can’t see your baby all the time but still call to check in on his new milestones, the ones that don’t understand how bad your boobs hurt from nursing or how breastfeeding even works at all but they act interested and offer to bring you nipple cream and wine when in desperate need! Stick with the friends that value your relationship with your husband and understand that you want to spend most of your days/nights with him rather than grabbing drinks at the local bar. Stick with the friends that push you to be a better person while making sure you know how cherished you are for being you. Stick with the friends that distance and time do not affect your relationship at all. Go a few weeks and don’t talk, it is okay! It is so exciting to spill your guts on all that has happened when you do finally get the chance to talk. Stick with the friends that love your family just as much as you do, when your parent is sick or family member passes, they hurt with you. Stick with the friends that embrace the new friendships you make over the years rather than envy them. For all of these are examples of what a true friendship involves.

Motherhood will change you. It will change everything around you. Find the positives in the change and be okay with the change. Set aside “you” time for your girlfriends, stuff as small as phone dates during naptime or big as annual weekend getaways. Make your husband understand that he is loved and appreciated but there is nothing quite like good quality girl time. He will respect that because I promise he doesn’t care to hear about the latest Kardashian episode! Embrace the changes life throws at you, for you are all growing into adulthood in different phases and one day you will catch up to one another and finally understand why motherhood is tough but such a reward.

With all that being said, cheers to my people! I want to acknowledge your dedication to playing such a big role in my life over the years. From the 6 of you I grew up with to the 3 of you I met in college, y’all have all been such a huge part of each chapter in my life. And I have cherished being able to be part of each of yours as well. I hope that one day our day dreams of weekly dinners with our husbands and babies becomes a reality but until then I cherish the times we do get to spend with one another! Cannot wait to be by yall’s sides as you become mothers and join me on this wild ride!

Chatt Later,
Mallory 



2 comments :

  1. Sounds like you have some strong relation ship with your friends. That is rare. Thank you for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you for reading! I am very blessed with strong friendships.

    ReplyDelete